Nepotism Modeling Agency

Haven’t they heard the old adage? “Washington, D.C. is Hollywood for ugly people?”

Welcome back to Going Downs, a newsletter about the intersection of celebrity and politics. 

Happy Friday, Going Downsers.

A staff writer for The Atlantic says go home!

Friends and fans, I do edit this.

As for this Game Stonks story:

I stopped caring about the market years ago. I used to write about bitcoin professionally (the article is from 2017, despite the “update” that I didn’t write) and quickly turned $200 into $4000. That being said, if I didn’t spend all my time reading stock news, I would have pulled my bitcoins out sooner. That $4K I used to partially fund a two-week vacation to Cuba could have been $10,000.

Instead of getting wrapped up in all that, I’ll be doing some weekend baking. Not sure what to bake yet, but I’m drawn to the TikTok trend of Basque Burnt Cheesecake.

This whole thing reminds me of January 2020 when The Bachelor’s Jade Roper Tolbert won a $1M prize on DraftKings and was accused of allegedly colluding to rig the game with her Bachelor in Paradise husband, Tanner. Just a month after “winning,” Jade had to pay back the prize in full. Tanner blamed it on misogyny.

“Somehow Jade picked the right lineup, got the million and the spotlight got shown on it. And people, especially since she’s a woman, assume that I do it all for her. If I had won, I bet no one would’ve raised a flag.”

Somehow…lol.

Stocks aside, Diet Pradasays the heels we’re currently seeing at Fashion Week are a bad omen.

A post shared by Diet Prada ™ (@diet_prada)

This Week in Conspicuous Consumption:

My favorite stock trader, Martha Stewart, reminded us that no matter what happens in all of this financial flailing, the rich do really get richer, no matter what they do! If you forgot, Stewart served 5 months in federal prison for insider trading back in 2003.

This week, she posted a sponsored post for CBD dog treats on her Instagram, featuring her hounds, Emperor Han, Creme Brulee, and Bete Noir. The two Frenchies, Bete and Creme were wearing some seriously striking jeweled collars.

In the comments, someone asked the source of the dog collars, and Martha wrote:

“Van Cleef or Cartier I cannot remember !!”

A post shared by Comments By Celebs (@commentsbycelebs)

This Van Cleef dog collar (vintage, they don't make them anymore, duh), went for nearly $70K on auction. I’m thinking these might just be repurposed necklaces.

What’s more Martha than recycling a “found object” for another practical use?

Jane Krakowski update: I was right.

Last week, I speculated that the rumors that Krakowski was dating someone who was mistaken by paps or “sources” for MyPillow’s Mike Lindell, but not Lindell. Jane is dating an architect - David Rockwell (he designed all the Nobu Restaurants around the world and the Dolby Theater). Do you think she gets free Nobu?? I’m suspecting that the photo of the dark-haired man she was surfing with was perhaps his son? There’s a striking resemblance.

Armie Update: Is this real?

I wrote about Armie Hammer and thought crimes a few weeks back. Since then, more allegations of abuse and rape have come to light. I agree with others who have said this, but the cannibalism is just a distraction from real dark stories. Then, this headline from Just Jared: “Armie Hammer's 'Call Me By Your Name' Collaborators Are Making a... Cannibal Love Story Movie.” Hammer is not involved, but Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadagnino and actor Timothee Chalamet are.

A post shared by Just Jared (@justjared)

THR reports that the story follows “Maren Yearly on a cross-country trip as she searches for the father she’s never met in an attempt to understand why she has the urge to kill and eat the people that love her.”

Casting Choices

I was confused when this news broke out.

Hollywood movies require a suspension of disbelief, but audiences are not so dim to go with a fantasy world in which Gabrielle Union not only married Zach Braff…but they had TWELVE CHILDREN together?? No.

In other baby news…

I don’t think I fully comprehended how cute it is that Pen15 BFFs Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle are pregnant at the same time!!

I love when this stuff happens

Someone at MSNBC fell asleep at the wheel on Allison Williams’ dad’s broadcast. The iconic “You had me at hello,” from Jerry McGuire started playing.

Another weird Lindsay Lohan story:

Lindsay Lohan wants a TikTok video removed in which she helped a superfan come out to her parents. This is the video:

According to Variety, Lindsay wants it taken down!

On Tuesday, Alana told Variety that she had gotten a message from the Lindsay Lohan Cameo account asking her to take the video down. A screenshot of the request said: “Hi! Just wanted to ask if you could take the cameo down because it was private for your use only.”

A representative for Cameo told Variety, “The user has a license to share the unedited video.”

Bizarre!

Would You Give Her a Modeling Contract?

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what kind of IMG modeling contracts you can give Vice President Kamala Harris’ stepdaughter.

A post shared by ella emhoff (@ellaemhoff)

Yes, a week or so after 21-year old, Ella Emhoff appeared at the Inauguration in a MiuMiu coat, she signed with IMG models. Previously, Emhoff was a fashion student and somewhat of a knitting-influencer. According to Ivan Bart, president of IMG, when he saw her on television he said:

“Wow, she’s communicating fashion.

Emhoff’s MiuMiu coat retails for $5,100.

Look the face of modeling may be changing to become more inclusive with regards to plus-sized models, models of diverse backgrounds, and differently-abled models. But when they said the face of modeling was changing, I don’t think they meant it literally.

A post shared by ella emhoff (@ellaemhoff)

Look. Part of First Daughters, or Second Daughters, is we all have to pretend they’re not just pretty, they’re gorgeous - professionally gorgeous! It’s “un-American” to say differently and it’s a part of our nation’s internalized misogyny. Say you think Ivanka or Chelsea or the Bush daughters or Meghan McCain don’t “have it” in a traditional Hollywood glamour sense and you will be lambasted online. But then, we’re subjected to fashion lines by Ivanka, morning talk shows (Today with Hoda and Jenna) and appearances on The View. This tweet sums it up for me:

Modeling is a job. Being a daytime talk show host is one too. Millions of billions of women, some who even move to America to do it, want those jobs. But these women get them, because of…

Nepotism.

And it’s so often in traditionally female, highly-competitive industries that prioritize youth, require connections, and favor privilege: acting, broadcast journalism, fashion, modeling, children’s book writing.

Haven’t they heard the old adage? “Washington, D.C. is Hollywood for ugly people?”

Going Downs is a free weekday newsletter, supported by readers like you, written by @clairecdowns and @brendengallager. There are monthly and annual subscription options available, or you can just keep enjoying this freaky free premium content at no additional burden to your wallet whatsoever. Venmo is also always a perfectly acceptable option.

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