Welcome back to Going Downs, a newsletter about the intersection of celebrity and politics.
🤠 Today is Tuesday, which means it’s time for my weekly round-up of all the ways celebrities and politics collided this week. 🤠
While I’m not subjecting myself to torture this week (watching the SCOTUS hearings as lawmakers try to take my rights away), I can’t stop watching this video.
This bride walked into Target in her tiered wedding dress to demand a full-on commitment right then and there to her fiance while he was working the seasonal aisle! She said, I want a fall wedding, and it this fall, Trevor.
Is it real?
Heidi Klum’s Halloween: An Update
On Friday, I discovered multiple ticket websites listing Heidi Klum’s Halloween Party for 2020, despite guidelines indicating that parties aren’t Rona-safe.
Well, I guess someone from Yahoo! reads this newsletter or follows me online because they posted a very “inspired” article about the party listings just two hours after I posted mine. Ahem.
Heidi saw the Yahoo! (are we still putting the exclamation there?) post, and put up her own clarification on her Instagram Stories Friday evening that her yearly Halloween party is not happening. The story has since disappeared, but she essentially said that the ticket sites were fake, and she has never sold tickets to her parties in the past. Even if you had $3,500, you couldn’t just buy your way into the event. Adult Halloween is only for those who are invited!!
See, folks, this is why you follow Going Downs!
This Week in the Kanyidate
We’re nearly done with Kanye’s run for office, thank God. Speaking of God, Kanye is trying to monetize the deity by copyrighting a new campaign slogan, “God Save America.” Legal documents were filed yesterday, around the same time Ye released a new campaign video.
Kanye’s theocratic monologue in the video reminds me a lot of something President George W. Bush would say. I do see the irony in comparing Yeezy to George W. Bush...
This week in the Celection 2020
I guess when you’re a decorated thespian like John Lithgow, you have a ton of time on your hands. In today’s round of “Who is this for??” Lithgow is selling a self-illustrated book of whimsical poems aimed at lampooning the President. Titled Trumpty Dumpty Wanted a Crown, I’m wondering why anyone thought this was a good idea. Trump and his team don’t read books, I don’t want to be reminded of the fucker by displaying something like this on my bookshelf, and I don’t think the President’s human rights violations are something to be mocked in limerick form.
This picture is like a still from a Documentary Now! episode about flailing liberalism.
Ok, I think this is kind of cool. When I read the headline, “BIDEN CAMPAIGN RECRUITS BATTLE RAPPERS IN NEW AD,” my cringe meter when on red alert. But, after watching the video, which features artists, DNA, and Charlie Clips, I’ve changed my mind. The PSA is a rapped dialogue between someone passionate about voting and someone on the fence/feels disenfranchised by the American process of Democracy. It seems like DNA and Clips were able to write their own verses for this, which makes it kind of interesting. Maybe it gets through to people.
I could see how many people would find this pandering, especially since few associate Joseph Biden with spitting rhymes. The video dropped around the same time that Killer Mike, who has supported Bernie Sanders since 2015, appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week to talk about Sanders.
Oprah is making calls with Beto O’Rourke to get people in Texas to vote early. This video is pretty funny, because before the man can even respond, Oprah goes, “Christian? It’s Oprah Winfrey. It’s really Oprah Winfrey.” The man on the other line seems so overjoyed to be speaking with Oprah, by the end of the call, he’s offering to drive others to the polls. Let’s just hope they’re not voting for the sick one!
And now, for a Rona PSA.
Cardi B’s Las Vegas birthday party this weekend was pretty much the opposite of social distancing. Over the course of 3 days (looks like it’s maybe still going?) Cardi had several private parties at nightclubs, packed to the gills.
I’m not here to tell you that clapping your bare ass against another dancer’s is not only frowned upon by the CDC and Dr. Fauci; it definitely violates OSHA workplace safety guidelines. You all already know this.
I’m here to spread the awareness that
Kissing Your Ex-Husband Is Not the Way You Want to Get Coronavirus
A month after filing for divorce from rapper/father to her daughter, Offset, Cardi B spent her birthday dancing and MOUTH KISSING her ex-husband. Cardi reportedly divorced Offset for numerous semi-public instances of him cheating on her.
If Offset cheated on Cardi, it means he’s going around town mouth-kissing (and maybe other types of kissing) other women. Women who may be asymptomatic for Covid-19.
Yes - I’m disappointed in Cardi’s treatment of workers (after being a longtime Bernie Sanders and AOC supporter) by even having this party. I’m disappointed she is a C-19 scofflaw. I’m even disappointed she may be getting back together with Offset.
But don’t get Coronavirus because you KISSED YOUR EX. Get Covid-19 because you shared a giant birthday cake with 200 of your closest friends. Get it because you twerked on the floor of a widely trafficked event space. But don’t give Offset the ability to get you (your daughter, your family, and the people who work in your house) sick!!
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