jason derulo drilled his teeth with an ear of corn
meanwhile, in the UK, josh o'connor is afraid of sullying his purity by saying "tampon"
My family and I unveiled the results of our pandemic bakeoff challenge to each other over Zoom. Not a competition, just a fun challenge. The rules were make any Victoria Sponge Cake, then take a pic and video of it.
My husband, Brenden Gallagher, wrote a beautiful article about rereading his favorite book, Love in the Time of Cholera 10 years after the last time he read it.
We briefly discussed how we will look back on these months in quarantine as a lovely memory. What percentage of people in world history have gotten to spend three uninterrupted months with their wife just after their first year of marriage?
Florentino Ariza got just two weeks in seventy-six years.
🌶️ Stars 🍵
Oh my god. Jason Derulo (star of CATS 2019) badly chipped both of his front teeth by screwing an EAR OF CORN TO A POWER DRILL and trying to eat it. Why? For Tik Tok. He called it a “life hack.” Do not watch.
Another yikesy Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard marriage article. This is like the 4th press they’ve done since quarantine about all the fights they’ve had and how ‘hard marriage is.” Idk it’s so exhausting! 3 days??
"We started quarantine needing a little marriage house cleaning. We had a huge fight, and then we didn't talk for three and a half days, and then we made up and now we're fine."
Kim K. released a line of SKIMS: Masks: “shapewear for your face.” My biggest question is how did this photoshoot happen with social distancing? Same background, 5 different models. I mean, if Kim K. calls, I suppose you risk dying alone in a hospital hooked up to a ventilator, right?
Excellent interview by Joan Summers at Jezebel with the Ana De Armas stan account that is blocked by none other than Ana De Armas.
Yeah, after you posted about the block, she was absent for three whole days and re-emerged solo. A lot of people messaged me saying the same thing. I also noticed she started wearing a mask a lot more after she blocked me, since I would point it out before. People would DM me like, “Your impact!”
Is this what “exhaustion” looks like? Seacrest went on Kelly Ripa’s show this AM to reiterate that his face was drooping on national television because of exhaustion. Between this and Wendy Williams postponing her home shows due to health concerns, I feel like we’re all getting way too close to some sad secrets.
Where in the World is Naomi Campbell? Okay: So this is like the 3rd story in a month involving the “crazy gear” model Naomi Campbell “has to” wear now on airplanes. I’m more interested in all the travel.
In March, she went from LAX back home to NYC to shelter in place there, wearing a hazmat suit.
Now, I think she’s flying to London? Not sure…there aren’t runway shows…
Streisand Effect in Full Force: Ya know, I kind of buy 6*x9*ne’s claims that Billboard spots can be bought. I didn’t even think of it before he called out Ariana and Bieber for charting with a song I’ve literally never heard played. Stores aren’t playing new muzak. There aren’t concerts. Teenagers aren’t listening to the radio, especially now, and there are ways to hack streaming counts. That, plus Ariana’s text wall of defense isn’t selling me. Ariana, Bieber and Scooter Braun didn’t need to respond to 6*x9*ne at all - they’re way out of his league.
🔗 Lynx 🐆
If you see a delicious pizza from “Pasqually’s” on Postmates, don’t be fooled: it’s actually Chuck E. Cheese. Reminds me of Chase Mitchell’s discovery that DJ Steve Aoki has monopolized delivery apps by calling his pizza places 6 different names. Deep conspiracy.
RANTING The Crown will not cover the famous “Tampongate” moment between Prince Charles and then-mistress Camilla Parker-Bowles. Why? Because actor Josh O’Connor (who plays Charles) specifically stipulated against it in negotiations when taking the role. Why? He thinks tampons are shameful and could ruin his reputation. Um…
"Pre-The Crown, I've made many independent films, many television shows where there's a lot of nudity, a lot of slightly dodgy characters, and this was my one chance for my parents to see something with no shame and there's no way I was going to scuttle that by talking about tampons on Netflix."
This man has literally played murderers, zombies, and drug addicts. But he’s afraid of the most common biological occurrence that the majority of the population is constantly experiencing. Women have to have conversations about tampons, all the time. Furthermore, it’s not like Netflix is a bastion of propriety. Dr. Pimple Popper, anyone?
It’s not like legendary jerk, Prince Charles, is so “unshameful.” I mean the man cheated on Princess Diana…with Camilla and calls fox hunting “romantic.” This is the real--life conversation O’Connor is so afraid of repeating. Clutch your pearls.
CHARLES: Oh, God. I’ll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be much easier!
CAMILLA (laughing): What are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers? (Both laugh). Oh, you’re going to come back as a pair of knickers.
CHARLES: Or, God forbid, a Tampax. Just my luck! (Laughs)
CAMILLA: You are a complete idiot! (Laughs) Oh, what a wonderful idea.
CHARLES: My luck to be chucked down a lavatory and go on and on forever swirling round on the top, never going down.
CAMILLA (laughing): Oh darling!
CHARLES: Until the next one comes through.
CAMILLA: Oh, perhaps you could just come back as a box.
CHARLES: What sort of box?
CAMILLA: A box of Tampax, so you could just keep going.
CHARLES: That’s true.
CAMILLA: Repeating yourself … (laughing). Oh, darling, oh I just want you now.
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