jason derulo drilled his teeth with an ear of corn

meanwhile, in the UK, josh o'connor is afraid of sullying his purity by saying "tampon"

My family and I unveiled the results of our pandemic bakeoff challenge to each other over Zoom. Not a competition, just a fun challenge. The rules were make any Victoria Sponge Cake, then take a pic and video of it.

The Downs Family Pandemic Bake-off assignment was a Victoria Sponge Cake. Take a picture and take a video. Love my parents’ video submission
May 15, 2020

My husband, Brenden Gallagher, wrote a beautiful article about rereading his favorite book, Love in the Time of Cholera 10 years after the last time he read it.

We briefly discussed how we will look back on these months in quarantine as a lovely memory. What percentage of people in world history have gotten to spend three uninterrupted months with their wife just after their first year of marriage?

Florentino Ariza got just two weeks in seventy-six years.

🌶️ Stars 🍵

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  • Zoom trick: How to create a looping video of yourself looking invested in the Zoom call that plays while you do anything else.

  • Hilarious Megan Koester article about finds from the Craigslist Free Section right now.

  • If you see a delicious pizza from “Pasqually’s” on Postmates, don’t be fooled: it’s actually Chuck E. Cheese. Reminds me of Chase Mitchell’s discovery that DJ Steve Aoki has monopolized delivery apps by calling his pizza places 6 different names. Deep conspiracy.

  • RANTING The Crown will not cover the famous “Tampongate” moment between Prince Charles and then-mistress Camilla Parker-Bowles. Why? Because actor Josh O’Connor (who plays Charles) specifically stipulated against it in negotiations when taking the role. Why? He thinks tampons are shameful and could ruin his reputation. Um…

    "Pre-The Crown, I've made many independent films, many television shows where there's a lot of nudity, a lot of slightly dodgy characters, and this was my one chance for my parents to see something with no shame and there's no way I was going to scuttle that by talking about tampons on Netflix."

    This man has literally played murderers, zombies, and drug addicts. But he’s afraid of the most common biological occurrence that the majority of the population is constantly experiencing. Women have to have conversations about tampons, all the time. Furthermore, it’s not like Netflix is a bastion of propriety. Dr. Pimple Popper, anyone?

    It’s not like legendary jerk, Prince Charles, is so “unshameful.” I mean the man cheated on Princess Diana…with Camilla and calls fox hunting “romantic.” This is the real--life conversation O’Connor is so afraid of repeating. Clutch your pearls.

    CHARLES: Oh, God. I’ll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be much easier!
    CAMILLA (laughing): What are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers? (Both laugh). Oh, you’re going to come back as a pair of knickers.
    CHARLES: Or, God forbid, a Tampax. Just my luck! (Laughs)
    CAMILLA: You are a complete idiot! (Laughs) Oh, what a wonderful idea.
    CHARLES: My luck to be chucked down a lavatory and go on and on forever swirling round on the top, never going down.
    CAMILLA (laughing): Oh darling!
    CHARLES: Until the next one comes through.
    CAMILLA: Oh, perhaps you could just come back as a box.
    CHARLES: What sort of box?
    CAMILLA: A box of Tampax, so you could just keep going.
    CHARLES: That’s true.
    CAMILLA: Repeating yourself … (laughing). Oh, darling, oh I just want you now.

Terrifying.

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